I spoke in an earlier entry about how important it is for young children to know that they are just fine the way they are. In the course of seeing adult clients, I am continuously reminded of just how important. So many of them are so sure of an essential defect, and it keeps them from engaging fully with their lives, socially, vocationally and otherwise. Worse, many constantly seek the validation of others, inadvertently pushing them away in the process.
I am of the opinion that we are essentially perfect. We make mistakes and we can always get better at things, but we are essentially alright.
Some of us have religious beliefs that say we are born of sin, but that’s still all of us and it’s an essential feature. Individually, you are not flawed. You may be thinking “with that attitude, how will I ever get better at anything in life?” I would reply that it is completely possible to hold the belief that you are not flawed while simultaneously holding the belief that you would like to improve at certain life skills. Furthermore, it’s probably essential to hold these two beliefs - someone who is defective has no reason to believe she will ever improve at anything.
What if there is nothing wrong with you? What if you are not defective? Why would that mean for your daily life and your emotional well-being?
We can get there...