Many people experience trauma. Some are able to process the event and move on with little impairment. Others - those who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - experience debilitating symptoms - hypervigilance, nightmares, flashbacks, avoidance of any place that remotely reminds one of the event. What’s the difference between these two groups of people?
The research shows us that those who experience PTSD have more fragmented and disorganized memories of the traumatic event(s). A working theory is that PTSD results from a fear of a traumatic memory - an attempt to push it away.
But as is the case with so many other painful feelings, that doesn’t work. Feelings need to be felt. Just as we process grief when we lose a loved one, we must process grief over the loss inflicted on us by traumatic events. As with bereavement, the pain is, at first, immeasurable, filling every square inch of our emotional life. But, if we let ourselves feel this pain, it becomes more manageable over time, to the point where we ultimately make room for other feelings.
Perhaps you never let yourself grieve your trauma. Together we can face that pain and move through it so that you can make room for all life has to offer.